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• ENDURANCE• Let me tell you a little about endurance (not the one in the dictionary) oh yes! There’s the Nigerian endurance, and the other one the enlightened accept. But let’s focus on Nigeria first. Endurance can mean different things to different people, but to the Nigerian man or woman, Endurance is a sacred virtue that every Nigerian should possess. If you cannot endure whatever situation you are passing through in Nigeria, then you are not a full blooded Nigerian, mbum! Calm down first, let me explain. Exhibit (A):- Just last week, sister Ashide left her husband's house, reason being that he had turned into a Randy Orton and their home had now become the WWE headquarters in Nigeria. The children weren’t left out in the beatings, to the point that sister Ashide had to be taken to the hospital for a broken jaw. Now Ashide's mother (Mama Ernyi) for the life of her couldn't understand why her daughter couldn't endure it all, after all marriage was for better or worse, till death do them part. she too had endured this, it was normal for a husband to beat his wife, it was his husbandly right. So Ashide's parents and some of her relatives sent her and the children back home (to her husband) to go and beg for her husbands forgiveness and also endure, saying it would get better. Favan is a boarding student in one of those prestigious missionary schools in the state, she came home for the summer holidays and complained to her parents that she was being bullied in school, she didn't want to return to the school. But then, her parents kindly told her that she should 'Endure', very soon she'll also be a senior and do all these things to Junior students, it was part of school life, that was what made it so interesting. Let's look at the two persons mentioned above, Ashide will Endure, but she would do that to the detriment of her mental health, she might become, Clinically Depressed, have Borderline Personality Disorder, become Suicidal, or better still become Bipolar. Her children are bound to be traumatized by this experiences, they might have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or become Abusers, and so the circle begins, it never ends. Favan would go back to school, she might become Depressed, have Low Self Confidence, have an Anxiety Disorder, have Borderline Personality Disorder, be Bipolar, or she might become like her abusers (The Bullies) and be the Abuser. All these could have been avoided if their family, circle had understood and lended them the support they both needed, it is very important to support and be there for the people you care about.
Now Endurance might be good in some situations, but how long are you going to Endure at the expense of your Mental health? Not every situation is supposed to be endured, at some point you've got to sit down, take a deep breath and decide to let go irrespective of what anybody has to say. Be wise in your daily decisions, its better to be laughed at and considered a Non-Nigerian than to become mentally ill, mental illness is no walk in the park. So, make the decision today, and become less Nigerian. And while you are at it, make it a priority to be mentally aware and not continue to spread the stigma around it.
P.s. Have you ever found yourself in similar experiences that threatened to compromise your mental health? Drop you experience(s) in the comment section.
Love always,
©WanYande. |
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